Only a trained professional, such as a child psychiatrist or psychologist, can say whether a child has an anxiety disorder. What parents can do is notice a pattern: worry or fear that is stronger than the situation calls for, lasts for weeks, and keeps your child from school, friends or sleep.
If your child talks about wanting to disappear or hurting themselves, go to the hotlines page now.
What parents and teachers tend to notice first
At school
- Sakit ng tiyan or sakit ng ulo on Monday mornings, or before a test or program, with nothing found by the doctor
- Refusing to go, or asking to be fetched early, again and again
- Staying silent in class, not raising a hand even when they know the answer
- Being very upset by small mistakes, or erasing and redoing homework until it is perfect
- A teacher’s note that says “very quiet” or “easily cries”
At home
- Clinging or tears when you leave, well past the usual age
- Asking “paano kung” questions over and over and needing repeated reassurance
- Trouble sleeping, nightmares, or refusing to sleep alone
- Angry outbursts that seem to come from nowhere
- Avoiding parties, sleepovers or new activities that other children enjoy
Quiet children are the easiest to miss. A child who behaves at school and never complains may still be carrying a lot. Anxiety can also look like anger or stubbornness, so what seems like a discipline problem is sometimes fear.
Normal worry or something more?
Fear is part of growing up. Toddlers cling at drop-off, grade schoolers worry about tests, teens worry about what classmates think. These come and go, and children bounce back with some reassurance.
Look at three things: how long it has lasted, how strong it is, and how much it gets in the way. A child who refuses school for weeks, or cannot sleep unless a parent stays in the room every night, is telling you something is heavier than usual.
What it looks like at different ages
Younger children usually show it through clinging, tears and physical complaints. Grade schoolers may worry about school performance, family safety or something bad happening to a parent. Teens may withdraw, sleep poorly, argue more, or seem constantly tense about grades, social media and friendships. Teens sometimes hide it well, especially if they believe adults will say “OA ka lang”.
What helps at home, and what tends to backfire
Many parents were raised to power through worry. “Wag kang matakot”, “walang dapat ikatakot” and “hiya ka sa pamilya” may slip out with good intentions, but children can take that to mean their feelings are wrong. Long working hours, a parent overseas, or a lola raising the kids while both parents commute can also leave children with fewer chances to talk about what scares them.
- Ask at a calm moment: “Ano yung pinaka-nakakakaba sa’yo ngayon?” Then listen before fixing.
- Keep routines predictable, especially sleep and school mornings.
- Name the feeling and let your child know it is okay to feel it.
- Avoid taking over every task the child fears; small steps help more than avoiding.
- Look after your own stress, because children pick up on it.
Who to see
Ask the pediatrician first about emotional causes as well as physical ones, especially for tummy aches and headaches. From there, a child and adolescent psychiatrist is a medical doctor trained in children’s emotional and behavioral concerns, and can assess your child and explain your options. A psychologist can do assessments and therapy with children and families. You can find a child and adolescent psychiatrist on NowServing or a psychologist and book a slot. To understand how the two differ, see psychiatrist vs psychologist in the Philippines.
See someone soon if the worry has lasted weeks, school or friendships are suffering, or sleep, eating and body complaints keep coming back. You do not need certainty first. A feeling that something is off is reason enough.
Getting ready for the visit
The most useful thing you can bring is the teacher’s view: a short note or a chat with the adviser about what they see in class. Add your own list of what you have noticed and when it started, your child’s health history, and your questions written down.
Explain the visit to your child in simple words, for example “we are going to talk to a doctor who helps kids with big worries.” Avoid presenting it as punishment or as something wrong with them.
For more on how families can talk about these things, read family and mental health in the Philippines. If you are also noticing developmental concerns, NowServing has an article on signs of autism in babies, which may help you decide what to raise with the doctor.
Frequently asked questions
At what age can a child have an anxiety disorder?
Anxiety can appear in young children as well as teens. If worry is affecting your child’s daily life at any age, it is worth having it checked.
Will my child grow out of it?
Some worries fade with age, others do not. Getting help early usually gives children more tools sooner, so there is little reason to wait if it is interfering with daily life.
Should I go to a pediatrician or a psychiatrist first?
Either is fine. A pediatrician can rule out physical causes and refer you. You can also go straight to a child and adolescent psychiatrist or a psychologist.
Is it my fault as a parent?
Anxiety usually has many causes. Bringing your child in is a sign that you care.
Can my child be seen online?
Some doctors and psychologists offer online visits. Ask when you book, especially if the clinic is far or your schedule is tight.